Saturday, December 24, 2011

Twas six nights before Christmas

So after months of plaining and a hint of procrastination I finally got the rue steaks ready for the Rake.  The only dificult part of preparing these anti rake delights was trying to stuff the steaks with the rue. I knew that if I just left the rue on the Steaks The rake wouldn't even touch them.  It was a bit tricky to stuff the steaks at first but after a while it got a smidgen easier.  Anyway on the night of December 19th I put the rue steaks and a dish of absinthe out in my family's backyard.  I set up a place in an area on the back porch where the Rake couldn't see me but i could see him as to watch the Rake eat this "wonderful" meal I made for him.  I also had a machete and a short sword at the ready just in case the Rake were to some how pass out and well I would try to put an end to him.  but I set up my little meal for the clawed bastard at around 10:30p.m. at night he didn't show til around 11'oclock or so. He went for the dish of absinthe first and lapped it up fairly quickly then his attention was drawn by the steaks witch the Rake being the Rake began to chow down until the rue did it's thing and caused the Rake what I could most definitely describe as "a shit ton of pain."  I turn on the porch light to see what exactly what was going on The rue as best as I can describe was chemically burning the Rakes mouth.  The Rake was frantically trying to get the Rue out of his mouth but in the process of doing such a thing he passed out.   I saw this as my window of opportunity to finish this bastard once and for all.  To put put an end to him stalking my friend.  An end to him killing innocence. I rushed outside swords at the ready.  I stood there looking at him this is it I thought it's over.  I wish I could type that I did.  I was the man who killed the Rake but I can't because I was to slow.  The Rake woke up the second I raised my blades to deliver the death blow and struck me with an open clawed hand to my right leg.  needles to say it hurt like a living hell.  As I fell to the ground the Rake attempted to pounce on me but missed due to him being slightly inebriated by the absinthe.  Despite the pain in my leg I got back up and grabbed both my swords ready to defend my self.  The Rake got back up and looked directly at me and let out a ear piercing screech that apparently woke my parents up.  hehe.  The Rake was ready to come at me again when something from the trees swooped down, grabbed the Rake, and took him to an area where the porch's light couldn't reach at almost break neck speed.   I'm not sure what it was but it sounded pissed.  I could here the sound of the Rake making whimpering sounds as this thing was what I guess could be described as an ass chewing.  My mom and dad came out just as I was heading back inside. They were pretty frantic as any parent would.  I didn't tell them the whole deal about a humanoid abomination trying to kill me. I was going to tell them that I was trying to take care of a wild animal problem myself but I didn't get the chance because they noticed my leg was bleeding pretty badly so they took me straight to the hospital.  The doctors were able to stitch my leg up however I'm probably going to be limping for a awhile.  The doctor said I was lucky that none of my major veins were cut other wise I might be dead.  I know most of you are probably going to chew me out for being reckless and your right. I apologize for being so stupid.  I haven't seen the Rake in a while.  i'm guessing he's either recovering from the rue or the savage beating he may have receaved from whatever it was that grabbed him during the inciddent.  Either way it make for a bit of a good break.  anyway I should probably wrap this entry up the only way I can by say Merry Christmas and Happy holidays to all of you who have stuck by me.  I hope that you holidays aren't filled with Eldritch abominations, but with peace, love and hope fpr the future that one day we will concur these bastards. Sorry if this last bit kind of sounded sappy. Oh well tis the season.

Stay Safe